Are you planning a shopping excursion for Black Friday? Normally, I avoid shopping on the day after Thanksgiving, but this year, I have to buy a new car. Well, it doesn’t have to be brand-spanking-new, but it does have to be soon, and in better shape than the car I am driving today.
I should tell you, I am really bad a buying cars. I am so bad at buying cars that I will drive a vehicle until it literally falls apart around me. I once drove an old Jeep Wrangler until the back end was no longer speaking to the front end. This time around, I was informed that I have been driving an old Ford around with nothing left holding the gas tank in place. Yup, there are pictures. The mechanic who put my car on the lift was not amused. I was advised to get rid of the car as soon as possible.
The thought of any major purchase gives me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and makes me want to hide behind the sofa in my living room. No joke.
In preparation, I started to research vehicles on-line. I now know on-line car buying is about as wise as “Googling” medical conditions online. (Before you realize what’s happening, you are ready to rush yourself to the hospital with sympathetic symptoms of botulism… NOT that I have ever misdiagnosed myself via a medical website…).
Just as bad as frightening medical terms and vague descriptions of pharmaceutical side effects, are online car clearinghouse websites. Accidentally click on the wrong vehicle and you will be followed online by car advertisements for the rest of your life. Out of curiosity, I once clicked on a description link for a pre-owned pink Camaro. Want to know what happened? I was stalked by pictures of pink cars for MONTHS: Pink Jeeps, Pink pick-up trucks, and yes, Pink Cadillacs. By the way, the same thing happens when you watch baby goat videos.
This time around, my Facebook feed has been populated with small SUV’s claiming have enough room to “comfortably transport a pony to any destination” (my words, not theirs). You see, my car buying is limited to vehicles with enough head-space for my 135lbs dog. Compacts are off the list… unless they have a sunroof situated over the way-back seats of the car for Mazzy’s head.
Today I am heading to a brick-and-mortar car dealership. A local dealership with real people. I might even bring the dog to demonstrate the size of the car I am looking for. That way, I can actually see if it’s a car that I want and if the cars on the lot start following me around town, I can make a phone call and ask the dealership staff to stop following me. I hope. If not, you can find me hiding behind the couch in the dealership showroom.
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