Loren Petisce: The Anti-Cook In The Kitchen

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youtube.com/kitchen nightmares

If there is anything I am admittedly terrible at, it’s cooking. I’ve never enjoyed it, because I’m not good at it and I’m not good at it because I never do…it’s a vicious cycle. Well, my friend Kim told me about this really good mac and cheese that she made, and I got motivated and decided to try it. I asked her for the recipe and I was off to the races…err, supermarket.

First of all, this is how infrequently I go to the market. When I got to the check-out, I gave the cashier my Shaw’s card. He gave it right back to me and said they haven’t used the Shaw’s card for discounts in three years. That means I haven’t been to Shaw’s in at least 3 years! I usually get what little groceries I do buy, at Target while I’m buying my normal household things like laundry detergent and shampoo.

So I get home, I boil my pasta in a pot, and I stir my cheese, milk and butter in a sauce pan. What could possibly go wrong? First mistake, I didn’t have a big enough pot to boil my pasta. Then, I added too much milk. I went to pour the milk/cheese/butter mix into the casserole with the pasta and it overflowed…because, of course it did. I put it in the oven anyway, where it continued to spill and then smoke out my oven and entire kitchen.

In hindsight, I should have put my casserole dishes (yes, dishes, because I made WAY too much pasta for one person, 2 lbs!) on top of a cookie sheet, in case of spillage…but an inexperienced person in the kitchen such as myself, did not think of that. Moving on…now the timer is going off and my mac and cheese should be ready! Well, it’s not, so I put it back in to bake (and smoke) for another 15 minutes. I tell myself that once it’s done, I am just going to bed, because I’m not even hungry anymore.

Fifteen minutes later, I take the casseroles out of the oven and let them cool on the stove top, where my cats proceed to jump up and sniff around…probably in shock that their mommy is using the stove for more than just decoration. After they cooled, I reluctantly wrapped them in foil and put them in the fridge. I wanted to put them in the trash, but I spent $20 at the market and about 2 hours of my time creating this disaster, I wasn’t going to waste it. So into the fridge it went and I just finished eating some for lunch. Yum….not really, it tasted like mediocre mac & cheese with overcooked pasta and a touch of oven smoke. Yuck. This is why I’m on a first name basis with the pizza delivery guy. THIS. IS. WHY.

Loren Petisce is the Midday Host on 99.9 The Q and Afternoon Host on Cape Country 104.

About Loren Petisce

Loren Petisce is the Midday Host on 99.9 The Q and Afternoon Host on Cape Country 104.

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