I’m turning 35 next month, and I’m fine with that. I’ve never been one to lie about my age or skirt around talking about how old I am. I am honest about it whenever asked, as I’ve never felt the need to hide that information. Plus, it’s not a huge secret, I think most people can tell by looking at me. I look like a woman in my 30’s and bingo, I am.
I’m fine with turning 36, 37, 38 and even 39. Today it hit me though, I’m five years away from turning 40. Forty isn’t old by any means, but it’s only been a few years since I was an age where the first number started with a “2”.
I still feel like a kid sometimes, there’s no way I could be creepin’ up on 40…it doesn’t seem possible. Most of the time I feel like an adult imposter, doing adult things like paying a mortgage and having a career, while still being a kid. One of these days I’m going to get found out, and the real adults aren’t going to allow me to “adult” anymore. Of course the years keep passing by that say I’m not a kid any longer, but in my mind, I’m still a lost 17-year-old trying to figure out the world.
How could I possibly be only 5 years away from 40 when I occasionally have ice cream for dinner simply because I can? Will 40-year-old me do things like that? Maybe. Will 40-year-old me still want to carry around a bright pink pocketbook and still love to wear animal print clothing? Will I be the same at 40 that I was at 20, perhaps only with more knowledge, wisdom and maybe a couple of wrinkles? Will I even have wrinkles at 40?
How come I didn’t feel like this when I turned 30? I was excited about 30! Everyone told me that being in their 30’s was awesome and you know, they were right! I love my 30’s! Does everyone feel apprehensive about the thought of turning 40? I know it’s just another number, but I have to be a real adult when I turn 40, don’t I?
I feel like I need to do something big and significant with my life before I turn 40. I don’t know if I’ve done enough with my life yet, and I guess I’m the only one who can answer that question. I’m not sure if the significance I’m looking for will come in the form of traveling, buying a bigger home, or maybe something I haven’t even thought of yet! The good news is, I’ve got five years to figure it out. A lot can happen in 5 years, so maybe I’ll keep on living life the best way I know how as a 30-something, and 40-something won’t seem so bad after all.
I’m twice your age and last week made a banana sunday my dinner. Even the 70’s can be awesome.