Greetings my friends! Welcome to October! It’s a new month with new opportunities and more awkward situations where I find myself explaining my personal life at social situations. More than once, or twice, or a dozen times I have been asked: Have you tried any of “those” websites?
Funny thing – this question is followed up by one of two types of stories: 1) Their sister/cousin/college roommate met the love of their life through one of these websites… or 2) I tried one of those sites once and had the worst date of my life – but YOU should try it because you never know!
Gee… Thanks.
This weekend, in between cleaning out my fridge and walking the dogs in the rain, I decided to do a little research. I think if I am going to actually try one of these singles-sites, I need to make sure I can answer the questions without personal bias. I need to rely on honest answers in hopes of finding my perfect date. In order to do this, I have decided to answer questions about myself using the most reliable resource out there: Social Media Personality Quizzes!
Here is how my new online profile will look to any possible suitors:
- WHAT IS YOUR DATE OF BIRTH: I was born in the 70’s and the song of my life is “Stayin’ Alive” by the Bee Gees
- WHAT FIVE WORDS WOULD YOU USE TO DESCRIBE YOURSELF? I use the following words the most in my Facebook posts: Love, Nice, Motorcycle, Fire and Spider
- DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF POPULAR? 2,924 of my Facebook friends think I am “Cool”… 109 Do not
- HAVE YOU EVER USED AN ONLINE DATING SITE BEFORE? No, but if I did, it would read: “Female international spy by profession. Looking for Male, preferably a spy good with weapons”
- WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR IN YOUR NEXT COMPANION? Not really sure, but my Superhero Soulmate is THOR… Or Spider Man (I took 2 different quizzes just to be safe)
- WOULD YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF FINANCIALLY STABLE? I will make my first million at the age of 67
- DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS OR TALENTS? I have a 68% chance of surviving a Zombie Apocalypse
- SOME OF OUR CLIENTS FEEL STRONGLY ABOUT CONSUMPTION OF ALCOHOL. DO YOU DRINK ALCOHOL? Yes, because no great story ever started with ‘This one time I had a salad’. (Besides, I wouldn’t be filling out this online form were it not for a lovely Sauvignon Blanc I found while cleaning out my fridge).
- WHAT ACTIVITIES DO YOU LIKE TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME? Write the numbers 1,2,3,5 on four pigs and release them in the supermarket then watch and laugh as security tries to find #4! (This may have been a quiz to see how ‘nutz’ I am… not sure, but sounds like fun)
- WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER YOUR GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT IN LIFE SO FAR? I killed an evil alien leader and saved the world from total annihilation. But in a PAST LIFE, I was a conqueror and a ruler. I conquered places and killed giants.
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I don’t know about you, but I cannot WAIT to meet my perfect match!