I’m normally very good at my 7-8pm game show hour. I’m home from the gym, dinner is cooked and dishes are done and I settle down on my couch to unwind and catch up with my dog (I’m 28 by the way in case you’re accidentally thinking you’re on the wrong blog and this is the diary of a senior citizen).
Wheel of Fortune or “America’s Game Show” really frustrates me! I mean first let’s talk about Vanna White or as I like to call her “The luckiest woman* in America” *not the word I use but I want to keep my job. This woman is ageless, flawless, and has THE EASIEST JOB IN THE WORLD! Oh, wear a gorgeous dress, touch a screen and smile? And she gets paid INSANE money! I could write a whole blog about my love/hate relationship with Ms. White whom I have met and is lovely but I will not.
I’m not particularly good at WoF but last night I was on a role! 27 letter word for phrase…2 guess OLD KING COLE WAS A MERRY OLD SOUL! 12 letter word for relationship…3 guesses… MOTHER IN LAW I was on fire! At this point some friends had come over and well…we started having wine. I want to do some sort of MIT funded experiment about the correlation between drinking and game shows. Jeopardy, while others find impossible while drinking, becomes increasingly easy because my brain starts to explore the random facts I know you in my head but would never usually think of…Wheel Of Fortune and wine…has the opposite effect.
Suddenly, my pinot grigio had kicked in my brain had kicked off. I started yelling random vowels when people didn’t even buy them (I wanted to steal vowels, I’m a criminal) I started criticizing the contestants on their choice of consonants but to my defense I did not attack their choice of clothing (I’ll save that for my Jeopardy blog).
Final phrase was FILM and with 10 seconds to solve the puzzle I thought hard. The letters started to appear after the RSTLNE and the god forsaken woman with the awful accent asked for WZFB and A. Really? Z? How many words have Z in them? I was outraged.
_AWREN_E _F AR_B_A was on my screen and I was 100% sure I had the answer. I was ready to quickly impress my friends (and dog, she’s a rescue who I feel is part black lab and sometimes I think part judgy reincarnated drag queen) so the pressure was on. Within seconds the light bulb went off in my head and I victoriously yelled:
“I KNOW THE ANSWER!”
“LAWRENCE OF ARUBA!”
No, that is not a typo. That was my answer. I actually thought an entire movie had been made chronicling the life of T.E Lawrence as he braved the white sand beaches and tropical fruity drinks in an effort to save the land from the developing Trump Casino Empire. All of this…in 10 seconds…and my I lost the respect of my friends and dog. Not my proudest moment…certainly not my least.
