Tim Dunn/CapeCod.com.
WEST BARNSTABLE – A speaker series dedicated to educating the public of the affects military service has on the families of servicemen was held at Cape Cod Community College on Friday.
The Cape and Islands Veterans Outreach Center hosted the series, The Toll of Service on Military Families, which featured family members of United States military service men and women who spoke about the experience of having a child, sibling or parent in the military.
The father of a U.S. soldier who died in the War in Afghanistan highlighted the program this year.
Paul Monti, the father of Jared Christopher Monti, a solider in the U.S. Army who died in Afghanistan on June 21, 2006 at the age of 30, spoke to those attending of his experience as a military father and the impact Jared’s service had on himself and his family.
“You’re child leaves for the military and you begin with the worries of where they are, what they’re doing, and if they’re safe. So, it’s a constant, every night kind of thought in your head about where they are, what they’re doing and if they’re safe. Then, when they get deployed that elevates because now they’re not on a home base, now they’re somewhere overseas. They might be in Korea, they might be in Iraq, they might be in Afghanistan, Somalia, wherever. Now they’re in a danger zone, so that heightens things for you,” Monti said.
“On a practical basis, what you miss and what you sacrifice is their presence with you for things that they normally would interact with you on. Simple things sometimes. Maybe they would mow the lawn for you or rake the leaves, or maybe they’re not there for the barbecue that you’re having for the family reunion. There’s a ghostly presence of someone that’s not there, and that wears on your mind all the time.”
Jared was posthumously awarded the Medal of Honor – the highest honor in the U.S. military – in 2009 for his heroic actions during the War in Afghanistan. Paul received Jared’s Medal in a ceremony from President Barrack Obama in 2009.
“It’s very bittersweet, very bittersweet. It’s the greatest honor, it’s like more than the Super Bowl trophy, but at the same time it’s just another reminder that my son is no longer with me. That’s the hard part, is going through his death over and over again,” said Monti.
Monti spoke about not only the emotional sacrifice military families when their loved ones are deployed, but also of the reality Gold Star Families, a family who has lost a loved one in military service, face every day.
“Many Gold Star Families, if we talk about the Gold Star Families, those that have lost someone in combat, but most families in general have that dream of the car pulling up in the driveway at some point, and I certainly had that dream over and over again. You try to shut it out your mind, but it’s a very difficult thing to live with,” Monti said.
“I always tell people, ‘When you lose a parent, you’ve lost your past.’ They were there when you grew up and were there for all of those experiences that you had. They’re gone and you grieve that they’re gone, but that’s the past. When you lose a child, you’ve lost your future. You look forward to all the things you could have done with your child, and you’re not going to do those things. You’re not going to have that barbecue, you’re not going to go to that sports game, you’re not going to have the grandchildren on your knee, you’re not going to have him over the house helping you with yard work, or just sitting there watching T.V. That for me is the hardest part.”
Paul’s account of the love for his military son even inspired the creation of American country music singer Lee Brice’s #1 Country hit song, I Drive Your Truck.
The song is featured on Brice’s sophomore album, Hard 2 Love, and was written by Jessi Alexander, Connie Harrington and Jimmy Yeary.
Harrington had originally came up with the concept of the song after hearing an interview with Paul Monti on National Public Radio (NPR) during the 2011 Memorial Day weekend. In that interview, Paul explained how Jared died when his patrol was ambushed, how his son was awarded the Medal of Honor, and how he would drive his truck to remind him of Jared.
“It’s got his DNA all over it,” Paul said about the truck.
Harrington later hashed out her ideas for the song with Alexander and Yeary. Lee Brice recorded the song in 2012, quickly becoming a #1 Country hit and a YouTube sensation.
In April of 2013, Paul Monti was contacted by Connie Harrington when it was found that the song was about him. Monti was invited out to Nashville where he met Harrington, Brice and all of the co-writers.
At a party celebrating the song’s success, Monti said, “This song honors every single Gold Star family in the country. They all hold on to something, whether it’s a truck, a car, dog tags, CDs, a baseball glove, a teddy bear – whatever it is, all of us hold onto it.”
By TIM DUNN, CapeCod.com News Center
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