Vigil Remembers Those Lost and Affected by Domestic Violence

FALMOUTH – Candles were lit and shirts, illuminated in light Friday night at Peg Noonan Park to remember, honor and support the women and men lost and affected by domestic violence.

A figure which caused many attendees to gasp found that 1 in 4 women nationwide will be victims of it in their lifetime. According to the Cape Cod Shelter and Domestic Violence Services, the Cape’s District Attorney’s office handled around 1,500 domestic assault cases last year.

That’s unacceptable, said one of the vigil’s speakers, survivor Lovern Gordon.

“We don’t want people finding out about shelters when they get to police stations or hospitals,” she said. “They should be educated beforehand about the resources they have.”

Gordon was involved in a three-year relationship with a man who, she said she should have seen through sooner.

“It was all about control,” she described about the dynamics in their relationship.

When he found an innocent photograph of Lovern and an ex-boyfriend, the man beat her so severely that she required a trip to the hospital.

Weeks passed without communication between the two, and Lovern said the man started stalking her.

The events escalated into him finding her at a workplace, trapping her inside of a convenience store and threatening to do her even greater harm once she exited it.

Lovern recounted that a clerk inside the store stuck up for her and allowed her to phone for help, but she said that not everyone is as lucky as she was in escaping their abusers.

Jody Marchand was nearly killed by an abusive husband, who did succeed in killing their daughter and then himself.

“I knew something wasn’t right, but somehow you get trapped in the situation,” she said. “Somehow, they make it seem like it is your fault and remember the evening completely different than the way you know it happened.”

All survivors present reminded those in attendance that feeling isolated from loved ones or passions, feeling guilty over something which is not your fault, and being assaulted with words, unwanted sexual advances and physicality are all signs of abuse.

All speakers strongly advised those who are experience such abuse to seek help, including the hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

The Cape Cod Shelter and Domestic Violence Services operates 24 hours per day, 365 days per year.