I found myself wearing my frumpy pajamas on the couch in the middle of the day watching John Cusack movies with a bottle of wine and my dogs by my side this weekend. After a glass of wine (or two…), I had a heart-to-heart talk with my furry friends.
They had some very good insight and opinions about my personal life. And here is the advice they wanted to share with any gentleman who might want to spend time with me. Are you ready?
Here are the qualities a man should have, according to my dogs:
ZORRO: The first time you come to the house, be prepared for the fact that I will NOT let you in! OK, just kidding. I may never let you in. Kidding! You can come in… Slowly.
MAZZY: Good fashion sense is important. It’s easiest if you simply match your outfits to my coat, which is mostly white. Black pants are my favorite! And I shed. Accept it or be rejected.
ZORRO: Did you say “BALL?!”
MAZZY: You have to like long walks on the beach – very long walks. Every day. All day.
ZORRO: It’s OK if you fart. We all fart sometimes. I have even been known to scare myself with my own farts. But do NOT try to blame your farts on me. I will know, and there will be repercussions.
MAZZY: Know that she is always right. Even when she is wrong, she is right and I will stand by her every time…Except when she says I can’t have a cookie. Then I will have your back 100%.
ZORRO: Be a good listener… or else your cute new nickname will become “Hey-Hey-Hey!,” “Get-Back-Here!,” or “No-no-nooooooo!” Wait…is that a squirrel?? Gotta go!
MAZZY: We love cuddling on the couch and watching movies… and when I say “we,” I mean me and her. You can sit in the rocking chair with the cat.
ZORRO: Don’t be afraid to pick up my poop! After all, I help around the house by picking the cat’s poop out of the litter box. You should pick up mine from around the yard.
MAZZY: Never feed us table scraps. They are bad for us and we won’t eat them…when she’s looking.
MAZZY & ZORRO: Be patient with us. We had pretty rough lives before she found us. And she may have been through a few tough times, too.
About Cat Wilson
