Before we start, you might want to read my last blog, From Cat to “Cougar”? to catch up.
So, here we are again. We’ve reached that awkward point where I have moved on from simple on-line dating pop-up adds to friends and family popping up to offer sage advice and insights about “a friend they know.” I am beginning to notice a certain inflection when they ask about my (now defunct) social life.
The short answer is this: What social life?
It’s not that I’m sitting at home EVERY night with the quart of Four Seas Ice Cream. After all, I work a lot, I have ‘stuff’ to do, I have dogs to walk and a lawn to pretend to mow. In all reality, I am learning to take a little more time for myself and trying to find balance in my life.
Apparently, while I am looking for balance, some of my favorite people have been compiling a list of qualities they would like to see in any possible future companion for me.
There is a list. I like this list because it is both honest and fantastic. It came from my niece and nephew, Ursula and Austin (12 and 9 years old) and my good friend (and neighbor) Carly’s children Evelyn and John (8 and 6). Although I have added some opinions of my own, I have not changed any of the original suggestions.
Additionally, I do not know if this was ranked by order of importance or simply the order things popped into their little brains. Are you ready?
- HE HAS TO BE VERY FUNNY – I think this is a given. There is nothing more attractive than laughter and a good smile.
- HE MUST LIKE DOGS AS WELL AS CATS – And my dogs and cat would have to like him. Otherwise, it’s just awkward.
- HE HAS TO BE NICE – Because mean people just aren’t any fun.
- HE HAS TO BE ABLE TO RIDE A BULL – MECHANICAL IS OKAY, BUT A REAL BULL IS BETTER – This should have been followed up with a notation about having his own health and life insurance.
- HE SHOULD LOOK GOOD IN COWBOY BOOTS – And jeans.
- HE NEEDS TO BE CALM – Because someone has to be the Yin to my Yang, right?
- BEING GOOD AT GARDENING WOULD BE GOOD – Perhaps this was a passive/aggressive comment about my yard?
- HE SHOULD BE AS AWESOME AT ZIP-LINING AS CAT – There is video. Not my best moment.
- HE MUST LIKE MUSIC – Well, duh!
- HE MUST TELL GOOD JOKES – I think this loops back to being “very funny,” but the kids felt very strongly about it, so I left it on the list.
- HE MUST HAVE A JOB – Notice how far down on the list having a job is? Apparently ‘independently wealthy’ is beyond the children’s scope of qualities.
- HE HAS TO DRIVE A MOTORCYCLE AND A BOAT – Because one or the other simply isn’t good enough?
- HE SHOULD HAVE A LICENSE FOR FIREWORKS AND FLARES – Mad Max? James Bond? Must have his own extinguishers, too?
- HE HAS TO FLY – PREFERABLY A PLANE OR HELICOPTER, BUT A JET PACK OR JUST BEING ABLE TO FLY WOULD BE OKAY AS LONG AS HE GIVES RIDES – This clears things up a bit…if “007” was a cartoon super-hero/rocket scientist.
- HE MUST PULL OUT THE CHAIR AT DINNER TIME – Because good manners count.
- HE SHOULD GO TO STOP & SHOP AND BUY THE FOOD SO SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO – I do sometimes knock displays over by mistake.
- HE SHOULD LET HER DRIVE ALL THE TIME – I am a very good driver. I have a trophy!
- HE SHOULD TAKE HER ON A SURPRISE JET BLUE PLANE TO FLORIDA – Or Hawaii or Vegas or France…
- HE SHOULD BUILD STUFF – Or at least be able to fix the stuff I break.
- HE SHOULD BUY HER ICE CREAM – I like ice cream: Strawberry with rainbow jimmies.
Special thanks to Ursula & Austin Budd and Evelyn & John Carley for their thoughtful contributions to this list.
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